Triumph of Defeat

You have plans for today: to get that paperwork filled out, mail that package, answer those messages, buy your lunch and etc. But then it happens... dysania. Some may call it laziness, but for others it's real. Scraping up enough willpower to get out of bed is exhausting. After the worse-than-normal attack yesterday, this was my morning. It was 2:20pm when I feet touched the floor. On the days I am too depressed, my bed becomes my sanctuary. But as I lay in my self-made sanctuary, the restlessness soon creeps up under the covers. "That's the point of getting up?" "I have so much to do today," "I haven't done anything!" "I'll never reach my goals," "I'm so useless," "I'm a failure," and etc. I panic for another wasted day and another wasted to-do list.

However, I'm finally learning... it's ok. I learn to push aside those evil thoughts of self destruction. It's ok to take days off. It's ok to do nothing. Procrastination is ok. Some days we need to charge our batteries. Find something fun to do instead! For me its playing music. I like to make it a game and reach my computer chair (where I am now, writing this) and put on my favorite bands. 

We always will have tomorrow to get back to work! Or, if you feel better, tonight! (I did make this post after all.)    



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